SERVED!
(2012) - short story by A.R.Yngve

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A short-short story which may ruin your appetite...

"We're all out of chicken," said the manager.

"Any rat left?" asked the cook.

"Had one in the fridge and I gave it to my family."

"Damn."

"We could go looking for dogs."

"Forget it. They run too fast."

The cook started to peel potatoes over the sink. "There's got to be something we haven't tried yet."

The manager looked out the window. The sky was still dark from the fallout caused by the war. Then he brightened up. "We haven't served Invader."

The cook turned to look over his shoulder and made a grimace. "They smell."

"But what can we do? The bastards killed all our livestock, all our poultry. The war is over and our customers are screaming for meat, meat, meat."

The cook stopped peeling and gave the manager a serious look. "Give me a day or two to think about this. And bring me an invader carcass, a fresh one."

"Sure," said the manager. "They don't rot like animal corpses, so there's plenty to go around."

A week later, the cook approached the manager with a sheet. "I've got some ideas for a new menu. Tell me what you think." The manager read the sheet:

MARIOSTO'S RESTAURANT & BISTRO
- OUR NEW SPRING MENU -

Appetizers:

Invader Soup
Invader Slices on Toast
Invader Pickles
Invader Shepherd's Pie

Main Course (salad included):

Invader Fricassee
Invader Steak
Invader Burger

Children's Menu:

Fried Invader Meatballs
Each child gets a FREE Bouncy Dried Invader Eyeball

Dessert:

Invader in Syrup Sauce

"I don't know... have you actually made any of these courses? Say, what's that smell?" The manager sniffed and his stomach rumbled.

"Try some," said the cook and gave him a plate of Invader Pie and Pickles.

After the manager had wiped his mouth and burped, he smiled. "You've saved us, Luigi! This is absolutely delicious! Rich flavor, succulent, sweet aftertaste..." He had second thoughts. "What about health issues?"

The cook shrugged. "I got the smell out of the meat by adding lots of vinegar, but there's a catch." His skin had started to turn a shade of green. "Eating Invader makes your skin change color, and you develop a taste for insects."

The manager scratched himself. "We could use makeup, I suppose."

"I suppose." A fly buzzed through the kitchen and they both looked hungrily at it.

On the TV screen in the corner, a news broadcast announced that the Invaders had officially been defeated, and that the President would address the world within a few hours.

"At last," said the voice from the TV set, "we have won."

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Also check out: A.R.Yngve's short-story collection THE FLATTERED PLANET

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"Boyster Takes a Dive" (c)A.R.Yngve 2012. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced without permission. "Fair Use" applies.

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